The beauty of the youth is something I have long admired and been fascinated by. Growing up with existing insecurities I have built and hated many aspects of my physical body. My nose would be too big, my bald head would make me ugly and my hairy body would be dirty. I have done a lot of inner work and I don’t know much of where I am in terms of self-esteem or identity, I just try to listen to what my body feels well with and tune in with that energy.
A beautiful friend of mine, Ryan would ask me to pose for him one month ago, I didn’t feel very comfortable with this idea but I love what the trust you have for someone can make you do. At the beginning of the shoot I was shy and not very happy with how I look physically but went with the flow and kept in mind that being present, being myself, was all we needed.
I love natural and real people/art/lifestyle and that’s what we both created with these amazing photos. A series called Vulnerable that pushed me to get rid of the mask I have been wearing and helped me to accept my beauty. My face and body evolved a lot in the past 7 years and I am grateful to this vehicle and temple for always being my ally in life. Our body reflects who we are and I grew and developed into a more loving version of myself. My belly is bigger, but the place I take in my life is bigger. My teeth are yellower but my energy is warmer. My hair have fallen but I vibe higher.
One of the best tips to love yourself is to listen to positivity and to value it. People would tell me you are beautiful, you have a beautiful smile and I’d be like yeah whatever. He/she is just trying to be nice. Should someone say, Oh you gained weight, you look tired I would take it personally. But at a moment when you turn off the noise inside you that bullies you and start to listen to the voices of positive and loving people in your life, you notice that they notice someone beautiful in you. It is a great start to open to positive words and to give them the right worth.
One day my therapist told me, Hans, you are not an empty hole that needs to be filled. One another day she said, Hans you are not a broken vase that needs to be repaired. Then I went to read a phrase “You are loved, you are loving and you are lovable.” It would be an affirmation I’d say so many times a day until it was clear in my mind that I am worthy of love. I am worthy of my own love and the one of others. It is something we should teach to every kid. You don’t have to achieve anything in life to be loved. You are loved in your natural state, the moment you are conceived.
It felt weird for me to write “my beauty”, a concept that felt so inaccessible, is now something that I see as being part of me. Thank you to Ryan L’Eveiller (@live_peculiar on instagram) for opening my eyes on this whole concept of beauty, vulnerability and truth.
“I want people to look deeper into pictures, to give them as much credit as paintings, because when we did the photo shoot, it wasn’t only about capturing the moment but the soul”
Discover these beautiful shots and let me know your stories on body image by message or commenting. It always feels good to know that I am not alone facing these.
Have a lovely day and do follow ryan, his work is deep, rich and magic.